n o v e m b e r in review- [goals + highlights + what I learned]

HIGHLIGHTS//

-coffee dates with Mom <3
-Girls day out + getting my hair dramatically layered =D
-Micah is walking....like wow!!!!!
-Celebrating Mom's and Micah's birthday + going to Chuck e Cheese :-)
-finding 2 new jackets at the thrift store
-PLAYING VIOLIN ON TALENT NIGHT. (this was so awesome and I'm so glad I did it!!! #doitscared )
-Having our adopted Grandpa over for Thanksgiving & he cried because it was the first time he's had Thanksgiving in 5 years <333
-Ashley's friends coming over and becoming our friends too =)
-THE LEAVES BUT ALSO THE GREEEEEN. (yes orange leaves and very green grass...in November.)
-Making snowflake crafts and leaf crafts with the siblings <33
-Lilliana helping me make cookies 
-Putting together a treasure hunt for all the boys (and lilli ;))
-Finishing almost every goal wrote down in my journal xD
-GETTING A NEW BEAUTIFUL JOURNAL!!!!!
-Also totally getting into art and really liking it and I'll have to share pics xD
-FACETIMING WITH AMELIA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! sooooooo muchhh funnnn!!!!

[and i just knowwww that as soon as I publish this I'll remember three thousand other things I should've put in this post. ^-^ ]


RANDOM // F U N N Y :D

Me: *poetic voice* "We all face battles..."
Caden: Yeah, and I'm Strider!!!!! 
Elias: No, I'M Strider!!!!!

When we're playing hide-n-seek and me and Lilli are hiding. I say 'He might get us!' and she just looks at me and says 'At least we have each other!' #yesiammelting #youshouldbetoo


Elias, [to  Mom] : Hey, look at my muscles...I HAVE LIKE 5 NEW ONES!!!!

and like sitting here writing up this post and my bros are behind me cracking up..xD #lovethem
:also don't mind that fact that it's 11 at night and we're laughing our heads off about hashtags XD

Joshua: Wait..whats XD???? 
Me: It's like, you turn your head sideways and have really excited eyes or something... XDD 

Lilli: *licks the cookie batter spoon* Ooooh i just lOVe sugarrrrr!!!! 

*sitting here thinking about something funny that must've happened*
Elias: ummmm, you could do lilliana saying that she wants more of the food that tastes like nothing..
Me: That was last month.
*looks around and realizes that we're genius'. 😎

Lilliana: HEY i want to be a genius when i grow up!!! ...but how do you be a genius? 


Lilliana: Adults were once just little children....but now they're adults. (this came from nowhere XD) 

Lilliana: AWwwww, look that that baby doll, it has no food!!! *continues to say in the most sorrowful voice* 'and that one and that one don't have food and neither does that one....'

Elias: Do germs go to heaven????


DECEMBER IS UPON US// GOALS

-finish 7th gradeeee
-read 6 books
-figure out things that need figuring out
- and just live and be joyful. <3 <3 
(my goals will probably expand over the next few days ;))
.........................................................................

What I've learned:

I've been learning a lot about actually excepting yourself for who you are. Mindset & how it changes everything. 
To do things scared. Be brave. Just to give my best at something no matter what.
Learning about some kinda cray stuff like Schizophrenia and such and personally I just think the world is kinda messed up....so many things are clearly spiritual and Doctors just give it a name and prescribe all sorts of pills. Which isn't right. 
To fully trust God, His plan is greater then what we could have even imagined. <3
Learning a lot more about connection, how every human no matter how different wants to share a human connection, and how they do. Just lots of stuff. ;D


Your goals for December??? (I CANNOT BELIEVE IT IS RLY DECEMBER WAHTT EVEN????) 
Do ya like the new blog design thingy?? =D

to miss someone.

i kinda miss summer.

but then again, i miss 

every season of life.

i miss every person i haven't seen 

within three days

much more the ones i haven't seen

in three months; three years.

sometimes i've wondered what it'd be

like to not have that feeling

that feeling that tells you you are missing something.

i've wondered if we didn't have that,

would the agony of someones death be easier?

it's been years

since my grandpa died.

and my aunt and my little sister.

but still i miss them, 

no matter how many years go by.

i fully realize that if we didn't miss,

then we'd take things for granted.

but i don't take things for granted

i cherish moments.

so why must i bear this awful agony?

why must my family grieve the loss 

of so many people? 

we do we have to miss?

well

i found an answer. 

after thinking about it

the Lord brought it to my 

attention that maybe,

it's to help others bear loss.

because then you can say

'i know how hard it is'

in all truth. 

maybe it's just that then. 

to help others. 

to sympathize wholeheartedly with someone for 

a loss or a happening or a thing.

and that glorious day feels so far off

i know there will be so many more days 

where i'll cry after looking at the 

pictures of my sister.

or cry at the evilness of this world

or for the souls of so many people.

missing teaches you something.

it teaches you to love more freely,

help more willingly.

so i really mustn't t think of death

as an agony, 

a tragedy yes,

but God has been there. 

He's been working

all along and will be for many more years.

forever, He'll be by my side. 

and yours too.

just always remember that. xx

realness + [a lot of stuff is going on] THOUGHTS ON MATURITY AND WHAT IT MEANS.

day 1

to

day 365 

sooooooooo.

hi.

*deep breath* 

Lots of things are going on right now. some not-so-nice things yet life still goes on. I'm having a super hard time believing the  little man is already 1 year old....he's such a little cheeser. <3 <3 He has grown and changed so much in the last 365 days. it's just crazy. 

So have I. so has every single person in our family. So has every single person in this world. We all grow and change, and sometimes I'm excited to grow more but other times I just want to stay young. [haha more on this in a min]

but anyways. on to the realness.

It's kinda just like..out of nowhere there's all this stress. And it loads up and then before you know it you just feel helpless and like you're gonna cry all the time. 

I mean, for the most part...my life is awesome! we have friends over and I slept over at my besties house and we eat good meals and all these little things that just sound amazing and fun and wonderful and they are. 

But then there are some big things..difficulties, hardships, stresses. (ugh i feel like i'm using that word a lot) And those things just seem to drain the joy out of things. Not everything..but sometimes it feels like it. 

what is there to do though? I cannot help any of these things. All i can do is pray...and I ask that all of you would do the same for our family. It's an unspoken prayer request..so if you could please just pray for us- our whole family in general then we'd appreciate it so much. <3 <3  and I'm sorry for not doing more 'life posts'. Here lately  it's just been easier expressing myself in the poems i write in my journal, so I'll just post something really quick. I haven't actually taken the time to sit down and write like this in a little while. :| 

y'all are awesome. I hope you  know that i really think that you are awesome. ;D 

..................................................................................................................

M A T U R I T Y.

Growing up I often wondered what it'd be like when I was finally 'mature'. Little did I know what maturity even was. Maturity is the state of someones attitude. How they think, how they act. 

There are soooo many different levels of maturity it seems- there is grown-up stuff and then stuff that is more simple like being responsible and sensible and all that.

Let's get one thing straight here. I'm not really 'tall'. I'm really only 'tall' bc my older sister of 9 years is short. (We're the same height now) There are so many 12 year olds that I know that are super tall...like 5'8 tall!!! And sometimes I feel like that just somehow means they are more mature then I am, or more whatever then I am. But this year I've learned that it depends on the persons attitude, and that it takes a lot more of an understanding of the world and different humans to be mature.

HOW TO TELL IF SOMEONE IS MATURE.

• They don't easily get offended: when you are mature and confident about yourself, you don't often get offended. You can just shrug a rude comment off or agree with yourself that this person just hasn't got common sense.
• They are responsible: Being all considered grown up comes with A. LOT. of responsibility.  Even so..if you are mature you can take it with a smile instead of dragging your feet. ;)
• They know when to speak and when to listen: Now we all make mistakes...I make heaps and heaps every day. But if someone is mature they will know when to just hold their tongue. Plus sometimes it's better like that..." Don't speak when you're angry or you'll make the best speech that you'll ever regret." (at least the random quote was something like that :'D )
• They have a common-sense: By this I mean that they know things that are happening in the world...someone that is mature isn't ignorant. And they can usually put 2 and 2 together. 

so yup. There's my 'little' rant for today!!! Hopefully I'll be posting a video sometime here soon!! =D I'd love to chat...talk about weather or your thanksgiving or music..lol!! Whatever ya want! XD

Oh and THANK YOU SO MUCH YOU AMAZING 55 FOLLOWERS!!!!!!! like WOW i can't even right now. All of y'all are just they absolute best!!!! I'm so happy that you've all joined me on my quest of sorting out life xD <3 <3 <33333 thank y'all so very much. 

Do you like poems or life posts??

What does maturity mean to you?

thanks in advance for any prayers y'all, Jesus hears 

all of them. xx

the leaves and such because they're gorgeous.

real front-porch view. 

i know like it's  b e a u t i f u l. 

lies vs truth.

i'm not old enough.
i'm not smart enough.
I am too young 
to drive, get a job,
be independent.
i'm not experienced enough. 
i'm not skinny enough.
my hair isn't long enough.
my hands aren't small enough.
maybe
i'm just not enough.
but you see,
this is what the world says.
it's what i tell myself [lies]
everyone else wants me to think that
i'm. not. enough.
but
it doesn't work.
I realize that,
i'm old enough
to share hope with the hurting.
i'm smart enough
to teach someone else something.
i'm young enough 
to laugh and make memories.
i'm experienced enough
to be there for someone.
i'm a perfect size.
my hair is beautiful.
my hands are gentle.
maybe
i. am. enough. 

paige lavay
november 7, 2017


[because I am worthy, I am perfect. And I'm trying very hard to not think otherwise. I don't want to be insecure, because I really don't have to be. I am just what God wanted me to be. So are you. <3] 

babysitting a 2 week old + L I F E UPDATE.

RANDOM | L I F E.

• Going skating and eating ice cream ;D
• Babysitting a 6 pound 2 week old, Theodore Jackson, he was born 2 months early and his parents had to go back to work. We've now been awarded the best babysitters...he is so. ADORABLE. and so. TINY. #iaminloveeee

• getting a Scalp Massager and it literally tickles your scalp! (4th picture)
•  Never seeming to keep the dirty dishes counter clean :'( 
• watching The Return of the King again 
• Finding an old camera card (hence the #tbs post ;D)
• going to another violin lesson and she said that I DID GREAT ON THE SYNCOPATION!!!! i was totally not expecting that <333

• really loving this song
• Having so many amazing talks with my Mom, she is amazing and inspires me so much. <3 
• Watching Micah zoom all over the place with his walker XDD

• ACKKK IT'S JUST SO MUCH FUN WITH A NEWBORN HERE!!!!!!! (he's here every other day ;D) 
• and just like changing his tiny diapers and holding him and AHHHHHHH!!!! 
• taking pictures of the leaves, the glorious leaves!! 
• Studying on Patience + Worship and looking up verses on both subjects, and reading in Revelations #diggingdeeper 

And more pictures of the epicly cute Theo <3 <3 

How has your November been so far?

Advice for poem inspiration...ideas you have for titles?? xD 

Have a blessed day in the Lord y'all <3 

paige lavay xx

#tbs

Matching!!!

Juicing for Aunt Tracy =D

Me and Aunt Tracy

this is a favorite. <3

at Roaring River..so long ago. <3 

Always climbing trees i was ;D

a sudden camp fire and marsh mellow roast one night with a neighbor friend over. :)

#throw-backSunday :) 

These pictures bring me back to such a special time in my life. Most of these pictures are from 2 years ago!! Seeing them just makes me melt, and also realize how grateful I was to be able to spend what time I had with Aunt Tracy and Great-Grandpa before they died. I'll miss them, but I know that Grandpa is in a better place. 

I've always hated every single picture of myself from when i was younger, but since I've been looking at these pictures often, I've kinda realized how other people saw me- shining because of Jesus. And someone told me recently that a lot of the time, all she could see was my big smile...not my crooked teeth or my wild hair. And that just made me realize that your smile is really what makes the difference about you. If you have Jesus you should shine and radiate His glory. <3 

Happy Sunday peeps!! I'm recovering from a cold, so hopefully I'll be better by tomorrow. I'll be working on a life update..a lot is going on!! 

Keep shining for the Lord!!! <3