ER trips + dealing with disappointment // THE STORY

I need to upload so many pictures that I think Imma gonna go crazy.

Ok, so I'm not sure exactly where to start. Things have been crazy.

Our house is crazy. A wreck is what it is.
Our kitchen is upside down. Remodeling.
School needing done.
All the craziness any one could imagine-yet more.
Trips to the doctor, and constant errands.
Being so disappointed I could cry.
Blood sugar testing after meals and every morning.
Worried expressions.

trying to just. breathe.

But God is still here, giving me those moments where we are happy and everything is fine and I can here His whisper, 'I am holding you. I've got this. Trust Me.'

June 1st {{the perfect way to start the month..not}}

I woke up at 5:00 in the most pain I've ever felt. I didn't know then how much worry that would later lead to.  I woke Mom up and by 6:30 we were at the ER. I threw up twice, but the pain wasn't a sick kind of feeling. The pain was what made me get sick. [anyways..]  They got me in really quick and gave me Ibuprofen and Zofran, and we were assured it wasn't appendicitis praise the Lord. But the Dr. found my blood sugar high, so he said we would need to follow up on that.   They did an ultra sound, and we later found out that the pain was a cyst. Thankfully it should go away without much trouble tho.
We got a bs testing kit and I pricked myself every morning. I was high. High enought to indicate type 1 diabetes.  (Of course we had no clue what else could play a role in high blood sugar yet..) That morning there was a LOT of crying. Lots of praying. My whole life felt different from that reading saying I had diabetes.  I continued pricking myself when I should and it was still high, yet funky. Once it got too low and I almost passed out. I chugged some pop and ate some white bread trying to get it up again. Things were just crazy!
A few days later we went to the Dr. and my blood sugar is completely normal as to my knowledge. We are still waiting on the result to get back from the lab. I've been fine since then, and they say that it was probably just high because of the pain I was in. (Hbs can be caused by allergies, illness, hormones, etc.) They HIGHLY don't think I have type one, which I am SO happy!!!!! 

So we've been remodeling our kitchen and it's been really stressful. We have to do so much and have EVERYTHING ready in 5 days.  That's why I haven't posted very much. 

Dealing with disappointment-
I've been feeling like I'm about to cry a lot. I found out that I wouldn't be able to meet someone when we go up to NE, and it has just been really hard. I wonder if they just don't trust me, or what? What is the point of being best friends if we can't even meet each other??
Idk, Maybe my expectations were too high, but this is what I know. That if my internet best friend was coming up right past where we live, then I would make every effort to meet this wonderful person. My parents I know would understand and without a doubt let us meet each other! We both have blogs and know a bunch about each other, and that we both without a doubt love the Lord with all our hearts.
I don't know why the Lord did this. I really don't want to offend any of you, I just can't keep going with these thoughts that I feel like I should tell you. I'm trying to just be honest and say what I feel.  
I'm trying really hard to just accept it, if this is the Lord's will. 

I did not expect this,
I hoped for something else.
Now I'm left without peace.
Let me know, Lord
that all understanding
and wisdom, 
are found in your wounds.
Show me that I,
 must trust
in You alone

                                                                                         Ever been to the ER?
                                                    Share your thoughts with me!!!
(p.s. Please don't be offended by anything  I said. I was simply sharing my feelings and don't want to hurt anyone. )
                                                     Love y'all!!! <33333


  1. Wow, I'm sorry that all happened to you. I'm sure going to ER would be a scary experience (thankfully I've never had to), and I know what you mean about being disappointed not to meet your friend. I would be the same. I admire your faith, girl. Keep trusting Him and I hope life gets less stressful for you soon. xx

    1. Yeah, it's okay!! It was, but I have been there before, so it wasn't new, haha!
      aww, thanks! That's super sweet of you! XD

  2. I've been to the ER before. ugh. Ambulances are horrible.

    I totally understand what you're saying about you being disappointed about your friends. I was planning to meet my friends a week ago and it seemed like nothing could go my way, but my dad kept telling me it's God's plan Ellie. Just be reminded by that all the time. :)

    1. Btw, this is Ellie not Sarah (even though the comment says Sarah).

    2. You've been on an ambulance?? Why!? :X
      Yeah, I'm glad someone does. I'm having to remind myself that a lot. I don't know why it's so hard, these thoughts about how they might not trust me or whatever.:|
      Haha, okay!

    3. ohhh...I don't think you followed my blog then but last year I was at camp and I got a mild concussion. hehe :P

  3. aww I'm so glad you are okay!! and yeah, dealing with disappointment is hard - but something you can really learn from and get through with God's help.

    hahaha we are remodeling too. (srsly painting our whole main floor. whaaaaa) but yes, so glad to hear you are okay, Paige!! <33

    1. aww, thanks so much Sare! Your da sweetest! <33 Yes!! #agreed
      hehe, it gets awful sometimes!! It's nice knowing someone else knows how stressful that is!!

  4. Oh Paige, I'm sorry for the rough season you're going through. :( May the Lord give you peace about your health and not being able to see your friend. <3
    It's good to hear that your blood sugar is doing better and hopefully you can get more answers and healing for your body soon. It's hard not knowing what's going on. I went through a scary season when other things added to an undiagnosed stomach illness had me fearing the worst. As it turned out, things were not at all life-threatening, but it was easy to get into that state of fear!
    You will be in my prayers!

    1. Thank you! You're so sweet!
      Yeah, it is very scary but it was kinda like the Lord was testing my faith. Now am glad to be able to look back on the experience. :)
      Thank you! ♡

  5. Aww Paige!! :( Hang in there, love. God has this and you just have to trust Him. I promise you he knows what he's doing.


  6. Thank you so much Sophy! you brighten my day sweet girl ♡♡

  7. I've been avoiding everything blogs for a long time as I was so busy and didn't want to take the time for it. I'm just catching up on your blog now.
    I'm so sorry you've been sick! :( Are you doing any better? I've had cysts before... I can empathize with the pain you went through. They're awful!
    Is your blood sugar regulated now? That must've been so scary!
    Sorry, no more questions... ;b
    Love yuh, girl! I'll be praying for you!